VIEW: United vs Newcastle. 3-0

Ah the opening game of the season…it was…good? Wasn’t it...??

…Look, if I’m being perfectly honest, I didn’t go because of
work commitments (apparently "it’s the first game of the season you c*nts!?" doesn’t
 fly too well with some employers). And to
add to my lack of loyalty, I had the missus round (I know, major faux pas)…so inevitably,
one thing led to another…and then before I knew it: game paused, balls deep,
freezing cold dinner and for a good 10 minutes after, I had no idea what
football was.

But when I finally came round and resumed the beautiful
spectacle on the telly that I had been without for 3 long months, I hit play and remembered just how
much I loved and missed United.

And as splendid as the intercourse was, I had to chuckle to
myself at those fools who claim so flippantly that sex is better than football (no offence,
love)*.

They are clearly not United fans. Because quite frankly, nothing is better than watching United play. Good result, bad result...the excitement, passion and equally, the disdain and anger experienced by United fans is something not matched by anything.




And when the boy's do it well, the feeling is simply indescribable.




Nothing
is better than seeing the flowing, silky passing of the boys in red - or masterclass performances by
two of the greatest legends that have ever heralded the game.




Giggs' brilliant volley that rounded off a convincing, thoroughly deserved and ultra-confident win against newly promoted Newcastle was a fitting end to this beginning. And even more perfect was the fact that it was Scholes' chipped pass to set-up his fellow fledgling. New faces are always being linked to United, with three completely young and unproven ones being added this term (and one slightly more renowned one choosing Real over us. Again), but through the change, success and disappointment, we have seemed to have always had those geniuses in our midst.




To add to Scholes' eternal awesomeness, the pre-season/Community Shield hype that surrounded a newly reformed Berbatov seems to have positively remained - scoring the opener, after latching on to Scholes' first assist of the game.




At times amazing football, at times professional and at times, amidst the brilliance, we saw room for improvement (especially in the case of Rooney). But always, it was United. And how fu*king glad I am to have them back.

So for now, I'll leave it as that, giving the role of technical analysis and passionate reviewing to those who don't prioritise fanny over football - but as sloppy as my dedication towards United was  on the opening day, lets just hope performances of this confidence and ease can continue throughout the season: arguably one of the toughest and challenging we would have ever faced.

The Telegraph

Republik of Mancunia

BBC

*(by the way, my girlfriend dared me to mention all this. Told ya I'd do it...That's what you get for making me miss United!)