Ahead of the Champions League Draw...

As those
shiny, plastic balls lay patiently in the Euro dome of destiny, is anyone else
getting that tingling feeling in their crotchal region in the build up to today’s
Champions League Group Draw? No? Umm...me…neither.

Anyhoo, as
an esteemed member of the highly prestigious ‘Pot 1’, we’re thankfully avoiding
Champions Inter, last seasons finalists and lucky cheating bastards Bayern
Munich, Barca, Milan as well as Arsenal and Chelsea. We also avoid CL debutants
Tottenham until at least the Quarters

So here’s a
quick butch at the '4 toughies' we could potentially be paired with...

Real Madrid:

Euro Pedigree:
9 European Cups, 3 Runners-up.

Star Player:
Cristiano Ronaldo

CL Last
Season: Last 16

How they
qualified this year: 2nd in La Liga to Barcelona.

2009/10 top
scorer: 

Higuain, 29 goals

Legends: Raul (who
has just left after 16 seasons for Schalke 04) holds the record for most
appearances (741) and Champions League goals (66). Di Stefano and Puskas have
13 La Liga titles and 8 European Cups between them…as well as 373 league goals.

Valencia

Euro Pedigree:
Runners-up twice (2000 & 2001)

Star Player:
Mata

CL Last
Season: Didn’t qualify

How they
qualified this year: 3rd in La Liga

2009/10 top
scorer: David Villa, 28

Legends: Apparently they were a bit good in the 40's...and they even had the honour of playing Di Stefano in the early 70's. But as I know nothing about either of those periods I'm gonna stick with the contemporary early-noughties 'legends'. The team that consisted of John Carew, Pablo Aimar, Kily Gonzalez, Roberto Ayala and Gaizka Mendieta was surely one of the best to not win the Champions League.

Ajax

Euro Pedigree:
4 wins, 2 runners-up

Star Player:
Luis Suarez

CL Last
Season: Didn’t qualify

How they
qualified this year: 2nd in Eredivisie to FC Twente – beat Dynamo Kiev 3-2 in
qualifying.

2009/10 top
scorer: Luis Suarez, 49

Legends: Take your pick! Johan Cruyff, Marco Van Basten,
Frank Rijkaard, Denis Bergkamp, Wim Jonk, Edgar Davids, Kluivert, van der Sar,
Litmanen…

Roma

Euro Pedigree:
Runners-up once (1984)

Star Player:
Francesco Totti. Of course.

CL Last
Season: Didn’t qualify

How they
qualified this year: 2nd in Serie A to Inter Milan.

2009/10 top
scorer: Totti with 25 goals. Totti and Vucinic were tied on 14 goals in the
league.

Legend:
Totti is arguably one of the greatest Italian footballers of all-time. His 245
goals (and counting) for Roma is a club record and he is the 6th top scorer in the history of the Serie A. He has won the Serie A (2001) and
Coppa Italia (2007, 2008) with Roma, as well as the World Cup with his country
in 2006.