So if we can't get Benzema, the obvious choice is...Owen?

So Benzema's Spain bound trip no longer takes no.1 priority for me and bloggers alike. I was all lined to wax-bloggical (oh thats right, made-up word time!) about my shock and complete confusion as to how/why/when those thieving, cock-blocking sons of bitches managed to jack our move for Benzema; raising such logical concerns as:

• How Madrid’s OTT spending is immature and stupidly immoral (I‘m definitely NOT jealous that they are compiling probably the greatest team in history...this isn't fucking CM '09!!),
• How there was barely ever a Benzema/Real link until we started hottening up our pursuit - something that arose pretty much the exact moment the (then) 19-year-old slotted Rio and Vidic inside his pocket as he turned and embarrassed the fuck out of the 2 best defenders in the world back in April ‘08,
• And finally, my most worrying issue regarding Madrid’s ‘hyper-kid-in-sweetshop-whose-suddenly-been-given-way-too-much-pocketmoney-and-naturally-shows-off-by-getting-all-the-best-sweets’ summer spending pattern, is their apparent total domination of the football transfer market. How is it that Madrid’s La Liga/Champions League light-weights of 08/09 suddenly seem so much more appealing than the, once again, undisputed Premiership Champions, or even their ridiculously awesome Catalan rivals? We get it, Real have money, but so do most of the proper European big boys. How can everyone half-decent want to play for Madrid? Is there actually anyone left to buy? Well, no. Not really. But nonetheless, we must move on from the blow of losing out to La Haine's rather scary Vinz (above) as we seek to find the one player in the world not wanting to move to Madrid, as, well, Madrid really don't want him either. So who better than an unemployed ex-Madrid flop whose previous club just got relegated. Oh, and he's usually injured for most of the season, so no respectable club in their right minds would want to take on such a liability. What gamble??

Opinion:

I don't think I can add any sort of unique view on this stone cold shocker of a signer, but I will say that I am edging ever closer to the ‘inspired signing’ camp, after my initial shock reaction led me natural to a brief stay at the ‘is this a joke?’ camp. My reasons as to why this should be deemed a decent buy, as I've said, have all been mentioned already, but I'll try and compare the 2 trails of thought to show how Fergie's a genius rather than an idiot; and as I'm clearly loving up the bulletpoints today, that is the chosen method of display. So:

• Owen's an experienced and proven goalscorer at the top level. Certainly not a flash 'un or uber exciting (in the Ronaldo mould). Furthermore, he's lost that 'Argentina '98' yard of pace, but he can still score goals. End of. With the creativity around him and goalscoring opportunites provided at OT (Rooney, Berba, Park, Scholes etc) he will no doubt regain that consistent, undeniable goalscoring touch that was somewhat lacking with the support offered by his previous employers (Barton, Nolan, Gutierrez, Xisco etc)
• He used to be a Kop idol a long time ago...but 'used to be' and 'a long time ago' are the key points here. Does anyone really care anymore?
• He's free. Seriously, we're offered an alright player for free...surely anyone would be a tad silly to turn this one down...
• ...but of course, the major negative to Owen is his almost permanantly sick-note status over the last few years. Although he may have cost us nothing, he'll no doubt waste us precious money - money that can't afford to be gambled away on obscene wages and shit signings due to our debt and the $60-odd million a year we're paying in interest fees...
• ...WRONG! He's grateful to be given this opportunity and humbled by Sir Alex's faith in him; so much so that his stupid wages at Newcastle (£110,000 a week) have been significantly slashed, agreeing to more of a pay-as-you-play contract. You have to admire that and respect his character and desire to play for United - something that a certain Argy clearly lacked when it came down to wanting to commit, and thus chosing City (probably) and their endless Arab money inflow over playing for the champions. But its about 'respect' and Fergie 'lying' to you, not the money. Isn't it Carlos?
• As a 4th choice striker, Owen will suffice. I firmly believe - well, at least I’d like to - that this signing does not signal the end of our spending and feel that we WILL still use a nice cheeky chunk of those Spanish Euro’s we have floating around. We will get someone young and talented in, maybe Aguero (that's if we manage to persuade him that life in Manchester is better than the sun, sea, birds and money on offer in Spain...oh, I get it now!), to spark up some pace and flare in the attacking quarter -now largely diminished due to the loss of Cristiano - with Owen playing (when needed) a far more out-and-out centre forward role.

So that just about does it. To summarise, then: we got ourselves a good (not amazing), goal-scoring centre forward for nowt and pretty much the same in wages (I swear even Wesley - our 4th choice right back - is on £60,000-a-week?). He aint the quickest and certainly aint got the youth, energy or pace of Benzema; but as back-up strikers, dedicated sportsmen and nice guys go, he'll do...as long as he's not out for the season with metatarsal/achilles/anterior cruciate knee ligament/other injuries.