Manc Derby

SHOT Tevez's goal. Fletcher's looping, perfectly aimed pass; Berba's sublime touch (noone better in the world at it); and the shot, from 20-yards, to match the build-up. He had a point to prove after some 'EXCLUSIVE' tabloid news emerged today suggesting he's about to leave us (a scarily real prospect, regardless of how real the story is).

SAVE Van Der Sar's against Petrov. Beautiful shot (only 1 on target), utterly top corner-bound before the ridiculously agile Dutchman (38 yrs old!?) rose effortlessly to tip away.

MAN: Rafael. Had £34million Robinho right in there all game (I'm pointing to my pocket).

SITE Tevez celebrating in front of the bench (above). 'Fergie, sign him on!'...seriously.

WHINGE Ronaldo. Grow-up, child. You knew EXACTLY what was happening, and so did we as the camera's were on you just before being subbed...so why the petulance? (Almost) enough to ruin a perfect derby win and again raise unnecessary questions and concerns about his future.

NOTICED Johnny O' running up the touchline only to be greeted by some amazingly creative City gob-shite, something to do with 'O'Shea', 'arse', and 'taking it up' (my how bright those boys from the blue-half are...how DO they come up with it?). Johnny's response? Runs up to them, cupping his ear and giving them a cheeky, well-disguised 'V'. Absolute legend.

OPPOSITION Pretty god-damn wank.

SOUND I've gotta hand it to Citeh's imaginative wit yet again ('same old UNIT, always cheating'...wow!). We battered them and are about to win our 11th league in 17 years. On top of that, they're shit, and they know they are. So, baring both those points in mind, they don't sing about us being crap (as the one time they sung 'what the f**king hell was that?' after we missed a chance was instantly shut-out when they fluffed yet another pass immediately after), nor do they chant showing, ahem, pride and appreciation towards their team. All they've got is a bitter voice towards the fans along with a modicum of spirit (to be fair to them): providing chants, all day long, about how we should all 'f**k off back to London' (it's Potters Bar now actually!...only London in the week), head back into our boxes as it's 'time for your sandwiches', and that 'Fergie's right, you're fans are shite'. My favourite was, 'we'll buy your club then we'll burn it down'. To be fair, they proper could.

REF Didn't have a great deal to do considering how potentially explosive things could get in this fixture, but that usually only happens when both teams turn up.

What This Means...? A royal walk over. Our 'massive' neighbours definitely didn't do Liverpool any favours, meaning we now need only 4 points to clinch it. 3 points at Wigan on Wednesday will leave us needing only a draw against Arsenal (who lost 4-1, 5 days after losing 3-1 to us...both at home. Ouch)

RATINGS Van der Sar - 6, Rafael Da Silva - 8, Vidic - 7, Evans - 6 (O'Shea 71 - 6), Evra - 7, Ronaldo - 7 (Scholes 58 - 6), Fletcher - 7, Giggs - 6, Park - 7 (Rooney 58 - 7), Berbatov - 7, Tevez - 8.